Defining Connection: LGBTQ+ Representation and the Stories We Tell

An autoethnographic study of sapphic media from a queer woman’s perspective

Why Autoethnography? by Bochner et al (2022) details how “Autoethnography addresses the need and desire to make the human sciences more human by writing in ways that are more poignant, touching, vulnerable, and heartfelt”, enabling research to use personal experiences to decipher how social groups are impacted by something. In some cases this could be surrounding healthcare or childcare however in this case, I shall detail how consuming sapphic media can highlight queer joy and affirm identity for women within the LGBTQ+ community.

Queer joy “stands as a defiant celebration against ever limiting social norms and ongoing oppression. At the root, it makes more space for everyone. We lean into each other's stories, and lift each other up. By being witnessed as we are, we reclaim our collective space in a world that seeks to marginalize us over and over again”. This study will detail the meaning of queer joy and how progress within media has been made despite there being a long way to go. The media content that I have found during this study hasn’t always brought this element of queer joy, and often reflected oppressive social norms and glamorised the tragic elements of queer identity. This therefore means we are left with our imaginations and produce this content ourselves rather than looking to mainstream media.

An autoethnographic study

In my experience, I have found a recent surge in the popularity of queer content surrounding men. The target audience of heterosexual females has overshadowed the nuances of sexuality and identity, with the emphasis on stereotypes and entertainment instead, “The typical manner in which homosexuality is represented on the screen is through a gay male character who is very flamboyant, sexually aggressive, and funny (mainly because he feeds into all of the stereotypes that people have about homosexuality). In those rare instances in which the gay characters are not portrayed in a stereotypical fashion, they do not have a visible sex life on screen (e.g.. Matt Fielding on Melrose Place), or attempts are made to censor it if writers attempt to challenge this norm (as on Ellen)” (Levina et al, 2000). In the clips that I have seen, I felt that the lesbian representation comes across as being heavily censored or given storylines that I’ve often found to be full of emotional turmoil.

Audiences of the Netflix series, Bridgerton (2020), have criticised the television show when they announced the first queer relationship between women. The big argument was historical accuracy and accuracy compared to the book series however the Netflix series have said that the series isn’t meant to be historically accurate. When I was looking for sources to do this study, this didn’t surprise me but did, however, anger me. The popularity of queer relationships in mainstream media has skyrocketed, with the popularity of television shows such as Heartstopper (2022), Red, White and Royal Blue (2023) and Heated Rivalry (2026). Heated Rivalry (2026), like Red, White and Royal Blue (2023), is based on a novel and has become a trailblazer for representation and inclusivity. My instinct was to go onto social media to gain an impression on what people are saying which, from the headlines by BBC News and Refinery29, it is obvious there is a clear difference between how audiences respond to queer stories depending on the gender. As Levina describes, gay males are arguably easier to stereotype and due to patriarchal foundations that society are held upon, it is more complicated to censor male sexual expression. I have found that lesbian stereotypes still base themselves around patriarchal, heteronormative relationship practises (for example, the “butch” and “femme” relationship where each woman takes on a specific gender role). As I have seen, when these stereotypes and gender-assigned relationship roles aren’t applied, the relationship almost always has a tragic storyline attached to it.

By looking at British serial dramas, Coronation Street and Eastenders, it was clear that there is different treatment that I felt wasn’t necessarily always accurate to the queer experience and solidifies the hegemonic discourse surrounding queer identity. They both having monumental storylines surrounding queer women and the two storylines I focused on had successful lesbian weddings (the first in the history of both serial dramas); both events were overshadowed by murders in each programme. Despite the progression of the storyline resulting in the deaths of secondary characters within the programmes, the wedding ceremony was carried out successfully and they proceeded to have successful marriages thus far.

In the episode from Eastenders, the depth of the main character’s trauma is made clear when she begins to cry and tells her wife “we did it” out of relief. After seeing the joy and connection, it was affirming to see two women marry each other in such a positive way, that doesn’t get cut short or the relationship ends before the wedding takes place.  This episode begins, in my eyes, as powerful in expressing lesbian visibility and acceptance. As I was watching it, I felt a huge amount of joy and relief, finally being able to watch a celebration of queer women that have had very different experiences of understanding their identity. As a woman that took a long time to understand the complexity of sexuality, I experienced a very visceral reaction to this moment, as I remember my own moment of acceptance. This is something I felt during both episodes I watched. The second, was from Coronation Street, which was centred around another lesbian wedding. This was significantly more positive than the first, as the tragic twist wasn’t directly involved in the wedding and essentially, it was the lead up to the wedding where things occurred that threatened their relationship (for example grief or shame around coming out) and therefore the ceremony itself felt more like a celebration and a pivotal moment in the relationships. It was also interesting that this took place during lesbian visibility week and the episode was written by a gay man and produced by a lesbian, working with the actors to present an authentic experience.

The storylines both show the nuances of queer relationships; they both had an element of later in life queer awakenings, the complexities of trauma from previous relationships and how that impacts their relationships. Despite the overshadowing tragedy, both storylines encapsulate the love and joy surrounding queer relationships and the connection within same sex partners. As a queer woman, I found both gratifying and were perfect examples to me of how queer love and joy can be celebrated. This is not something that had occurred in British Serial Drama up until this point - “Weddings are a major event in every soap, often attracting millions of viewers and being the main focus of an episode. Whether it turns out to be a complete disaster or a fairytale ending, they are a rite of passage for any character. Unless you’re a lesbian. In the 65-year history of British soaps, exactly three lesbian couples have successfully tied the knot on screen. Compare that to the 341 straight couples that have had a successful on-screen wedding across the four main British soaps, and there’s quite an obvious disproportion.” (Metro, 2025).

It is shocking to see that this is the case however, the two examples I have found have been affirming, yet disappointing that they have both been overshadowed by more dramatic storylines and I question why it is so difficult to have a positive queer story without it being turned into a melodramatic spectacle.